Love, Hate, and War
by corpeal-patronus
Summary: Harry has to deal with the death of Sirius and the thought of the prophecy. He has friends to help him through these difficult times but there are some things only he can do. Please read and review
1. Default Chapter

I own nothing of J.K. Rowling's wonderful stories. I am writing this story for

entertainment purposes only.

Ch 1 Worst Memories

"Lily, take Harry and go. It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off."

"Not Harry no please I'll do anything."

"Stand aside you silly girl."

"Kill the spare"

"Avada Kedavra" Cedric was dead lying spread-eagled on the ground.

"Come on you can do better than that." His body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backward through the ragged veil hanging from the arch.

"Sirius" Harry yelled"SIRIUS"

"There's nothing you can so Harry...Nothing...He's gone."

"He is not gone" Harry yelled.

"Yes he is and it's all your fault if you had just worked harder in occlumency Sirius wouldn't be dead" Lupin yelled back, YOU KILLED HIM, YOU KILLED HIM"

Harry potter woke up with a start. His face drenched in sweat or was it tears.

Another nightmare, Harry had them constantly now. He dreaded sleep but knew he needed it. Voldemort and his followers were everywhere. Harry could meet them at any time. He couldn't afford to be tired.

But if Harry could have his way he would rather be tired and die but he knew he couldn't. He was the only one who had the power to defeat Voldemort, the prophecy had said so. Harry couldn't put everybody else in danger by dying and leaving nobody else to defeat him. So Harry had to endure the nightmares.

These nightmares were all the worst moments in Harry's life replaying all at once. Like one long horror movie. All ending with Sirius dying and Lupin yelling at him. Telling him it was all his fault.

The thing that bothered him the most though was... Was really his fault?

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Well there it is. The first chapter. Hope you all liked it. If i get enough reviews I promise I'll update soon. That is of course if you guys think I should go on. Could you tell me if I should? It'll only take a sec. Just tell me what you think.


	2. OWL Results

Well here is the second chapter. I hope you all will like it. It is kind of short but the next ones will be longer. I promise.

I own nothing but the plot.

Harry shook himself a little bit. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't, but it was someone's fault. It was Voldemort's. The very thought of his name made Harry shake with rage. How could Voldemort do this? He ruined everything, everyone who he felt close to.

All of a sudden Harry was on his feet. He was so mad he couldn't breathe. How could anyone have that kind of evil in their heart? He couldn't understand it. His anger was getting greater. He started to pace up and down his room. He was getting out of control. He threw his schoolbooks, he couldn't control his rage any longer, he spread his quills all over his room. He kicked his bed. He spread discord throughout his room until his energy ran out. He fell on his knees and started to cry.

His feelings he hadn't gotten our properly all summer suddenly started flowing. He cried for Sirius, he cried for his parents, he cried for the Longbottoms, he cried for the Weasleys, he cried for the people of the order previous and present, he cried for everyone whose life Voldemort had torn apart. He cried for himself. Why? Why? did the fate of everything lie on his shoulders? Why did Voldemort chose him? Why? And with that thought e let out an ear-piercing yell. Harry collapsed on the floor. His exhaustion winning over. He fell asleep.

Harry woke up in the morning wondering what could have woken him so ubruptly. Then he realized he was laying on the floor and had roled into his school trunk. The memories of the previous night came flooding back to him.

"Man" Harry thought"I really lost it." He got up and got his glasses off his desk. He looked at Hedwig's cage hoping, that Hedwig would be there. Knowing that she would most likely would not. Much to his surprise she was there and sleeping under her wing. Harry looked on his desk and there, written in very neat handwriting, was a letter from Hermione.

Harry felt a familiar twinge of guilt that he felt whenever he though of Hermione, and Ron for that matter. He had really been quite awful to them last year. He hadn't really been talking to them in his letters either.

He opened the letter and started to read the same sort of letter he had received all summer.

Dear Harry,

I really hope you're all right. You're letters don't tell me much to guess your condition. I can't read minds so I don't know how your feeling.

Please Harry, don't beat yourself up. Sirius' death was not your fault. I know you better than to believe what you write in your letters. If I don't get a letter from the real Harry, a letter from the heart, you can expect a visitor. (You might want to expect a visitor anyway though.)

I hope to see you soon Harry,

Hermione

Well that last part he hadn't expected. A visitor? Did he want a visitor? Of course not a little voice inside his head told him. But his heart told him that he needed someone to talk to. Someone other than the Dursley's whose company was less than pleasant.

Then without warning another owl flew onto Harry's room. It was an elegant owl, tall and handsome. It dropped a letter on Harry's lap. The familiar Hogwarts crest on the envelope. The address was written in emerald green ink. Harry felt a jolt in his stomach. His O.W.L. results! This would be the decision of whether or not Harry could become and auror. The only career he had ever thought about.

Harry didn't know if he could open it. What would this letter tell him? What path would this letter hold? Should he open it right now? He couldn't wait any longer, he ripped open the letter.

**TBC**

I fixed this chapter up a bit. I hope it captures everybody's interest. More coming in a little bit. Please review. I love any feedback I get.


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